Stress, Emotions, and the ADHD Ego: Why My Feelings Think They’re the Boss

Here’s the thing about emotions: they’re loud, dramatic, and they always think they’re in charge. With ADHD, that’s like handing the microphone to a toddler who just discovered candy. Stress skyrockets, and suddenly a simple text like “we need to talk” feels like the end of civilization.

Science backs me up here. Adults with ADHD really do struggle more with emotional regulation compared to people without ADHD (Beheshti, Chavanon, & Christiansen, 2020). Translation: our feelings are not just “extra,” they’re scientifically proven to throw bigger tantrums. And when those emotions go unchecked, stress digs in deeper, messing with things like sleep and focus (Dolapoglu, Kirkan, & Tulaci, 2025). So, no—it’s not just in your head. It’s literally in your nervous system.

But here’s the fun part: emotions aren’t all bad. Positive emotions can actually boost resilience, help us recover from stress faster, and even make our brains more creative. Basically, joy is free brain fuel. The trick is not letting the negatives take the wheel.

One of my favorite tools is reframing—the art of flipping your perspective so your brain doesn’t immediately go into DEFCON 1. Example: Instead of thinking, “I bombed that presentation,” you reframe it as, “Well, I made everyone laugh, so technically I was providing free therapy.” Another? Forgetting my water bottle in three different rooms isn’t “being scatterbrained”—it’s a built-in cardio program. Who needs a treadmill when your ADHD makes you do endless house laps?

Takeaway: Emotions are powerful, and in ADHD brains, they’re even more so. Stress happens when we let the negatives take control. But with tools like reframing—and maybe a sense of humor—we can keep the ego in check and let the good emotions do some heavy lifting.

References

Beheshti, A., Chavanon, M.-L., & Christiansen, H. (2020). Emotion dysregulation in adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis. BMC Psychiatry, 20(120). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-2442-7

Dolapoglu, N., Kirkan, T. S., & Tulaci, R. G. (2025). The relationship between attention deficit hyperactivity disorder emotion regulation difficulties and sleep quality in adults: a cross sectional study. BMC Psychiatry, 25(432). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-025-06875-4